Is There Really a Forever?

This probably isn't going to be one of those happy posts so if you don't want to read a little negativity then just skip right over this post.. But this as been a constant question in the back of my head lately, Is there really a forever? 

No one can guarantee us anything in life thats why we have to be go getters and get what we want.. Achieve our dreams.

How long we have here is also not promised, thats why people say make the most of the time you have here. Because if we don't make it a priority to do the things we want before we know it our time will be over.  

All of these things have answers above, they all start with no and follow up with a but an exception of how we can make the most out of something or make it last or get what we want.

This is the one that is really puzzling me is there really a forever in a relationship??

I feel I should add here that this has NOTHING to do with my own personal relationship but its something I would be questioning regardless who I was with. I feel like the answer here is no (I am a tad pessimistic) but theres that part of me that wants to say yes it is possible if both people want it if you are both working equally and putting in the same amount of time and effort. I'm petrified to get married, but its the one thing I want more than anything right now. I want to take that next step with tony, although he's not exactly ready yet and is a little washy on the subject (kind of contributes to me thinking there's not a forever) Although I still believe we will have that day eventually. 

I think all of these forever questions that I feel are pretty easily answerable (<- I am pretty sure this is not a word).. I have lost people REALLY close to me to cancer so to me there isn't a forever theres just the time we are given here on this planet to make the most out of it. I have friends that are going through a battle right now with cancer and another one that has a tumor. It wakes you up even your not the one that has the illness, makes you realize how special life is how much it needs to be cherished.

Then there's the answer to if there is a forever to the relationships.. Well being the bi product of a divorce I find it really hard to say yes there is forever. I think its the same thing here.. The answer being no because nothing is a guarantee and in a relationship your only responsible for your own feelings not the other persons. Same with actions you can only be held accountable for your own actions. I am so afraid that I have spent the last 6 years 3 months and 19 days (I had to calculate this I didn't know this off the top of my head) with someone that I cant have a guarantee with. Granted living together is completely different then being married. I honestly think I would have less of these feelings if I felt more stable in my own relationship (I hate admitting that).. Theres so many factors in a relationship, so many things that makes Tony and I unique not the norm.. But I guess that is what makes us us.. We've got through some pretty tough times and came out on top every single time. We were long distance for the first 5 years of dating, broke up once not our choice and found our way back to each other. We've each made mistakes but been able to forgive the other because of the amount of love we share.. 

And yet I still question this.. 

Sometimes I think I need an actual hobby because all this thinking sometimes drives me up a freaking wall.. 

Its funny how young you can look only three years ago..